...more?...OK...you got it! It's raining like hell here in North Alabama & I've got nothing better to do, so here goes.

3 - We were playing a Van Club party out in the middle of the woods, Van Club people were like bikers with money in the 80's. It's mid October, colder than a well diggers butt & we're set up on a flat bed trailer...and these folks had been drinking for two days straight. We'd been playing for a set or so when a few calls come from the crowd "Play some Skynard"...well, it was below us to play "some Skynard"! Before I go any further, I need to mention that the infamous Skynard plane crash had happened only a few weeks earlier!...I guess you know where this is going. Randy Harris, our lead singer proceeds to tell a group of 500 or so drunk rednecks that "Lynard Skynard's DEAD!"...remember the chicken wire on the stage in the Blue's Brother's Movie?...well we didn't have any. We were immediately bombarded with full beer cans, one of which knocked our drunk a$$ lead singer to the stage!...I was ducked behind my brand new Big R Rogers 24" Bass drum & somehow escaped the incoming projectiles. Needless to say we didn't get paid & had a "blue-light" escort out of the camp-grounds.

...but like I said, I've got more.....

Ah yes bad gig experiences where to start...

The gig where no one showed up except for our moms and the other bands.

The gig where we introduced a new song called Dead Cat and our lead singer was promptly yelled at by his mother for the title... we were 23 at the time by the way.

Or this gig...

We are playing at a place called the Rex Theater in Pittsburgh. All local show put on by a friend of a friend. We roll in the promoter is not there, the sound guy is trying to figure out what is going on etc. Somehow I have to organize everyone and everything until the promoter gets there. We get people backlined set up and ready to go. Pet peeve of mine seriously I don't understand why so many people find the concept of backlining equipment to be the equivalent of brain surgery. Its like herding cats!

Finally an hour and a half later the promoter shows up and wants there to be a different set order for the bands. Which completely ruins our backline set. THEN the owner of the Rex comes in and says that nobody can play because we are not allowed to do all ages shows here on a Friday because he loses money on drink sales. This is even after he signed the contract for the show. After 45 minutes of jostling we work it out the show goes on.

During all of this fiasco, our guitar player disappears. We have no idea where he went, wont answer his phone, just poof gone. He proceeds to reappear about 10 minutes before we go on... apparently he wanted a gyro so he just left. You know those Snickers commercials where they say you aren't you when you're hungry... that is our guitarist to a T

And now finally the show...

During the first bands set the owner is riding his bicycle though the crowd out of apparent boredom since he is getting no drink sales. (he works the bar there during gigs)

During openers and through the initial fiasco we have become friends with the sound and lights guy. (Always be friendly to the crew it works wonders) So when we go on we sound great! They works the lights highlighting me during one song when our singer talked about my drum parts introducing the song to the crowd. Spotlight our freshly fed guitarist during solos. It went off great.

So the playing went great, but the pre-game was a disaster. We have since refused to play shows with that promoter and will only play at The Rex again if its a great opportunity

Geez, I'm just glad you're still around to tell the story! I've had bad stuff happen on gigs, (in 48 years of knocking around with bands the stories are plenty,) but other than a brawl I got sucked into, the audience never threatened our lives. The Skynard story is funny up until the time the RN's started heaving full beer cans at you. Yikes! Thank the Major for over-sized bass drums to hide behind!

Imagine hiding from an air-borne can of beer behind a strat! Or a skinny mic stand!!! There -is- an advantage to being behind a set of drums. Lots of stuff between you and ballistic missiles launched from the audience.

Ahhh, musicians' war stories... love em.

John

.OK, one last one...and in my opinion, the best, or worst depending on wether you were there or not....

We were a blues band, one of the hottest group of musicians I played with in my life!...the top guys out of B'ham Alabama & I was lucky enough to play with them. Southeastern Attractions was booking us, I'd know these people a LONG time & knew they were the biggest group of Fu**ups God had ever put on the planet. They booked us in a club right across the Texas border in a town that barely showed up on the map. We drove 20 or so hours to get there & pulled up in front of this beautiful club in front of a motel...but there was nothing else in sight. They had all this quaint pictureasque landscaping...you know, hitching posts, spittoons, rocking chairs & such out front...we just didn't see the sign that read "Welcome 'Good ole Boy's'!" We walked into the club and it was polished wood, brass railing, more spittoons, mechanical bulls (which should have been a sign) and last but not least, chicken wire around the band stage with a spill trough underneath. We were under the impression that this was a Blue's Brother's kind of theme thing (pot can have that kind of effect on you) and set up our gear & went to our rooms behind the club. Showed back up at 8:30 to power up & it looked like the bar scene from "Star Wars" recreated back on earth...but with REAL LIFE COWBOYS! There were more horses tied up out front than trucks in the parking lot & we were the only people in the place without a cowboy hat or boots. We walked in & it was like Prince & the Revolution walking in to play a KKK debutant dance!...in the words of the late Jim Croche, "a hush fell over the pool room". To say we were a bit nervous was an under statement! We finally went on, did the first song, got thru & you could hear crickets chirping a half mile down the road...chirp-chirp...it was like someone had sucked every molecule of air out of that room & the zombie apocalypse was about to begin! Somebody-somewhere let out a yelp, and the beer bottles began raining upon the chicken wire...the lights went out, we were ushered out the back door into a van & driven to a different hotel 20 minutes away. The club owner paid us for 2 weeks & we snuck back the next day to pick up our equipment. Later found out that 2 cowboys told the bartender that they were going to shoot us if we played anymore of that damn hippy music...this was the early 1990's & I hadn't seen a hippy in a long time. OK, I'm going to shut up now cause I can't type worth a crap & my fingers are tired.

Reminds me of growing up in Manhattan in the mid-60's. When I was 17 I had hair down to my a$$. Every single time I passed a construction site, I would get all kinds of cat calls and even a few propositions! I had to run like Hell one time because I turned around and asked them to think about why they get so 'excited' when they see a man with long hair.

It seems that with that crowd, it's ok for them to question your manhood, but if you turn it around on them and question theirs.... and mind you, THEY were the ones standing around whistling at other men!

John

Well, I bet you were a purdy man...or is that a "Purdie Man"?...is that where you learned how to do the Purdie Shuffle? LOL!

I remember those days also! I know I took a lot of sh*t, but know for a fact I got laid a hell of a lot more than those mofo's!Funny Post

Eeeeeewe. Just, eeeeewe.

B

>Well, I bet you were a purdy man...or is that a "Purdie Man"?

Yes! I was! (see pre-hair photo. I was 16.)

And, I'll bet the farm that I got laid way more often than any of those 'alleged' macho-dork construction workers! They had to go home and pork their same old fat wives every night. No wonder they got 'excited' when a good looking young man walked by! It was the height of the Hippie era, FREE LOVE, everybody was boinking everybody else. LOL

>...is that where you learned how to do the Purdie Shuffle? LOL!

LOL - yes, (smarta$$!)... long hair in the mid-sixties meant you better be able to run when required. And quickly! Yes Sir

> Eeeeeewe. Just, eeeeewe.

Precisely my own sentiments at the time. I didn't get it. Something about long hair on another guy that gets 'some' guys excited I guess. lol

John

^^^^^

Flashback - "Mystery Date" (you have to sing the jingle, if you remember it). If that's you in '65, what happened between then and the next few years to cause the hair growth?....hmmm.

B

PS - Here's me in circa '85. Talk about hair growth. (Although, it's more like hair-loss, these days.) Ugh, those glasses. What was I thinking?

Holy cow Bill! Is it just me or does anyone else think he could have been in leather chaps singing Panama or Jump! Spittin' image..........LoLoLoLo

toodles

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