I don't know what's worse: Playing well and getting no response or playing poorly and being treated like a god. When the latter happens, it's hard for me to put on a happy face and fake it.

This isn't my worst gig, but it's a disaster that ended well. Battle of the bands in Columbus, Ohio, 1981 at some High Street bar across from Ohio State. This would be our first live performance as a unit. Although we were a new band, we got to play next to last, but the crowd was there to see the final band.

We started our five-song set and slowly but surely, the crowd started to get into it. In the middle of the fourth song, we're cruising along and the fans are bopping. The entire band was set up on a stage made from 12" risers. Our singer started jumping around and collapsed one of the risers. That caused my bass drum to fall into the hole. Tom and cymbal stands fell to the left and right. From the throne, it was actually cool to watch—like a slow-motion movie. The only thing left standing was the hi-hat.

Miraculously, the band kept playing, so I grabbed the hat stand, made my way through the carnage to the front of the stage and finished the song playing backbeats on it as I held it like a guitar. There was even a bit of impromptu choreography with the guitarist and bassist.

The crowd went wild and we should have quit right then. But we had a song left and a time limit, so we got the drums back together as fast as we could and finished.

We didn't win. The crowd was there to see the final band and crowd response was enough of a criterion to overrule first-place votes for us from some of the judges, who told us they knew the last band and were prepared to vote for them sight unseen until they saw us. But the judges were influential on the local scene and we were able to parlay that into some pretty good gigs over the next few years.

One of those could qualify. We were opening at a place called the Agora, which was the major 3,500-seat bar across from OSU. Our first song was "Get Off of My Cloud," in which I would walk out alone and play the opening beat as the rest of the band entered one by one. As I started the beat, the guitarist broke a string, so I'm out there bashing like an idiot for two minutes (it seemed a lot longer) while he's fixing his guitar. Once we got going, it was a pretty good show, but the guitarist bought me beers for the rest of the night.

They don't exist. Any time I've ever been blessed enough to lay down tracks or to do a show, I've been keenly aware of the alternative. I don't carry the attitude displayed here with that lack of humility. I love playing and am glad to be healthy enough to continue. I try and make it a point to not share a stage or studio with individuals that swagger to that degree. Even the bad times are a kick when you surround yourself with like-minded individuals.

Back in 78, we hired a stand-in bass player from Jamaica who didnt wake us from sleeping through the Entertainment Nationals in Lajetes, TX. No big. We had played an all-nighter in the ghost town of Terrlingua and had put him in charge of ensuring we got up. Really not that big of a deal. We didn't win a trophy. Oh well.

I was doing 70 on a freeway in Nashville on the way to the studio when a 20 pound chunk of steel crashed through my windshield and almost killed me. As bad as that appears, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me because of what I gained from it.

Again, there are no worst gigs if you have the right attitude.

> As I started the beat, the guitarist broke a string, so I'm out there bashing like an idiot for two minutes (it seemed a lot longer) while he's fixing his guitar.

It must have felt like hours! Hilarious story, thanks.

Rogers -

>there are no worst gigs if you have the right attitude.

Philosophical attitude, I like it. But 'sometimes' gigs can go horribly wrong. They usually make for funny 'war stories' that's why I asked the peeps to share some of them. My story was about a gig disaster, but in hind-sight, it makes for a funny anecdote when shared with other musicians. I'm not asking people to indulge a bad attitude, just to share gig disaster stories. As you can read, some of them are hilarious when there is some time distance from the actual event.

No harm, no foul intended.

C'mon, more war stories. I've been laughing my a$$ off reading some of these. I 'hope' readers got the same tickle out of hearing mine. Someone asked Mel Brooks what he thought the difference was between comedy and tragedy.

Brooks responded: "Tragedy is when I get a little tiny cut on the end of my finger. Comedy is when an old lady falls into an open manhole!"

I'm asking for 'granny in the manhole' type stories... funny disasters.

John

The best part of a "worst gig" scenario the fact that it was done and over!!!!

Do I obsess about those bad gigs? Of course not!!! Are they funny now? Oh, HELL YES!!!!

I'm not a 'fighter' but I once got into a barroom brawl because the lead singer had boinked some guys girlfriend, (which none of us knew at the time,) and this guy came running out of the crowd, pulled the lead singer right off the stage and commenced to royally kick his behind. It took a few seconds for what was happening to register, but we all stopped playing and jumped in to pull this guy off our singer. Two of his friends jumped in and all of a sudden I'm in the middle of West Side Story in some kind of gang fight! None of us got hurt, some scratches and bruises, but the singers face was a mess. Later, when he told us who this guy was and why he was after him, -we- wanted to kick his a$$ all over again for getting -us- involved in it!

Bad gig story...

John

Yeah- I'd kick his ass, too!!!

We were all 18 years old at the time... in spite of being mad at him we kinda understood. It could have been any one of us it happened to. I never asked any of the girls I had one-nighters with if they had 'boy friends.'

We 'understood' but it was a 'guilt by association' type dealie. lol

68' summer of love... everybody was boinking everybody else. We really couldn't fault the guy.

John

Where?

Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, Iowa

When?

1965

History?

Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, The Big Bopper played their last gig at this ballroom a few years earlier

Narrative:

The gig went very well. A few of the local sweeties hung around the front of the stage all the time we played. They spent time with us on our breaks. After the gig, we were packing our gear in the band's van to head out for our motel. The girls were still there asking to to with us. A car pulled up to block the van's path for when we were ready to leave.

One of the girls said:

"We were just playin'. Can we stay, and watch"?

The band in unison:

"Watch what"?

Girl:

"Those are our boyfriends. They want to beat the crap out of you guys".

That was the night that we learned a new use for those microphone stands with the big heavy round base that the pole screwed into. The four of us used those mic stands as if they were war clubs. Luckily, we did not have any real physical contact before the big old farm boys shoved the girls in the car with them, and peeled off.

Another Ballroom Experience

The Blue Moon Ballroom in Elgin, Illinois is where a fight broke out while we were playing "You've got to Hide Your Love Away". The Dual Showman amps were a good hiding place for the other three guys who ducked behind them, and kept playing. Guess who was left out in the open while bottles and drinking glasses sailed through the air? The amps were usually onstage in the vertical position rather than the horizontal position in the picture.

Love the story!!!!

LOL...Thanks for making my evening...You definitely have a way with words!!

Cheers