I would suggest checking out the RTOM Moongel workout pad... if you want quiet, this is the pad. I have the Reflexx, but this is a tad quieter, and is slightly lower in pitch than either side of the Reflexx. Also, the gel material is very energy absorbent so you're not going to get the familiar practice pad rebound, which will improve your wrist technique - I'd say it is the modern alternative to Buddy's idea of practicing on a (non-rebounding) pillow. Here's a couple of links for you.
https://rtom.com/moongel-workout-pad/
[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVtPe5SSbKI"]RTOM - Pad d'Entraînement En Gel 7" (Moongel) - YouTube[/ame]
Also, I would check into the Prologix stuff as well. They used to have a model with interchangeable surfaces, and I'm sure if you stacked a pair it would be pretty quiet. I did try the line earlier in the year at NAMM briefly (I was more interested in the Thunder Kick bass practice pad) and unfortunately can't recall if my impression was that they were quiet - that place is fairly noisy as you can imagine... but I remember then feeling pretty good(as opposed to my older practice pad with the smaller rubber disc that aint what it once was.
https://www.prologixpercussion.com/products-workout
I haven't tried the Sabian model, but I understand it is mesh and is a totally different animal feel wise than these other pads. If you don't have a music store nearby with a good selection, I'd check with one of the online stores to see about the return policy and try a few out and keep the one or two that work the best for your situation and send the rest back.
Also there are a few older vids on YT that compare about 10 different pads/surfaces with the same camera/mic so you can get an idea of the volume. That bad thing about a single pad review in a vid is that the mic will compensate for lower volumes to record at a standard level so what may actually be fairly quiet can seem a bit louder on video than in person.
