Oh, okay... I'll start...

I played in this now defunct place up in the foothills just east of here. Backstage, in the ready room, the roaches were so big, and frankly well educated, I think if I would have had the foresight to bring some 'Hostess Twinkies' along I could have gotten them to set up and tear down the kit.

This was the kind of place that had indoor plumbing, but most everyone, even the ladies (bit of a stretch there) went outside into the woods for relief. It also comes to mind that they had those back bar food heaters. You know, pre microwave lightbulb mini oven things with hamburgers, hotdogs and other, um... food items available. I was there the evening someone was drunk enough to actually purchase something, not sure what, but something, and attempt to eat it. The thing was so old the wrapper wouldn't come off... yep, this was quite a place. Eye Ball

All in New York City in the 60's/70's:

Electric Circus - Our band opened the Circus and was the regular week-end band for the first three months it was open. Huge dance club. We'd cover all the tunes that were popular at the time.

Cafe' Wha? - Famous McDougal Street music spot. The Lovin' Spoonful was the 'House band.'

Slugs - East Village - We played jazz & Fusion when we did Slugs.

The Bitter End - Bleeker Street, West Side. Blues/rock.

The Blue Note - Jazz/Fusion gigs.

And a whole bunch of bars and clubs nobody ever heard of! lol I would need to write a small book if I start telling war stories, so I just listed some of the better-known clubs we played at.

John

There was this place outside Montgonery Alabama by the river called "The Fort Toulouse Cafe" I was a freshman in college and played there on the weekends. The club room had a cement floor and a screen door. They had painted light bulbs for lighting. years later I played a after hours club in Triana Alabama called "The River Club". Out in the country in the middle of nowhere. About 15 miles outside of Huntsville. We played from 12 midnight to 5am.

This was a wild place. The mgr's name was Jr. and he had this little 22 he kept in his back pocket. The 2nd weekend we played there it was so full and got so wild and out of hand, this mgr Jr ran some guys out and was shooting by there feet in the parking lot. They drove back by and shot him dead. A couple bullets went through the wall at the bar and hit a bartender. The next weekend there was not one soul in there except the band and the new mgr who stood against the back wall all night white as a ghost. We eventually built it back up into a popular after hours place but it was a rough start.

As B. Dylan would put it, "greasy kids stuff." -fun and done.

Fish!...

The thread shall live!, until such time comes when it shant... or sumthin' like that anyway. :-D Just had to move it into the "General" catagory. Carry on!!

Tommyp

There's a place on Harlem Ave in Chicago which is still open (and shall remain nameless so no feathers are ruffled). Born in 1973 (and seemingly not updated since), this place smelled like mildew, cigarettes and moth balls as soon as we walked in to set up.

As we brought our gear into the lobby, two working women exited the manager's office and he soon followed, pulling up his zipper. They then went to the back of the room where we were supposed to play and were instructed to use ... wait for it ... the stripper poles!

Our "stage" consisted of a worn out shag riser and ONE power outlet that was hanging out of the wall and looked so dangerous, even MacGyver would've ran. The women finished at the poles after 2 minutes (there was no music playing — which made it even more awkward) and made their way to the bar. The owner chided one of them and she broke down into tears, grabbed her faux fur coat and friend and quickly exited.

We then noticed that the room was very dark, but there was no lighting for the stage. When we asked about it, the manager brought out a ... wait for it ... DISCO ball and single pin light and said we could put it on the floor as long as no one tripped on it!!

Then the "crowd" started pouring in. 65+ folks in short skirts and caked-on makeup; and unbuttoned shirts and chains for the fellas. No one was digging the music we were playing, so a DJ walked in and started spinning house and electronica and the audience packed the floor. We moved the disco ball and were told to take a break. The manager wanted to see us.

Our band leader went in and the manager said that his crowd, despite their age group, wasn't interested in hearing music from the 40s and 50s. They wanted to hear "The Gaga" and songs like "Paparazzi" and "Poker Face." We all agreed that 2 more hours of us playing wasn't going to work for anyone, so we collected minimal pay, packed up and left while the crowd gyrated to 120+ tempos and thumping bass.

As we left, a gentleman who must've been in his 70s walked in. Checkered blazer. Butterfly collar. Multiple chains. And best of all ... a woman in each arm.

NONE of this is fiction. It's all fact. And it's my go-to story when anyone asks what the weirdest/funniest/oldest place you played was. I got paid $35 that night, but the experience was priceless. And as for the guy with the two women in his arms ... you GO, brother!!

HA! Excellent!

Well, ya know I was thinking of you when I put it in the first category. You know... job security for you and all...

This is easy.

Springfield, Mass.

Tic-Tock lounge. I think the board of health has since condemned the building and had it burned to ash, but anyone who had ever been there certainly will remember it. I never got shot at least.

It had carpeting, but it was so stained with vomit, spilled alcohol and God only knows what (and he ain't talking) that you might think it was concrete in the walking paths!

The smell was somewhere between sewage treatment plant on a warm August afternoon and the typical Holiday Inn. The coldness of the beer was only to be outdone by the demeanor of the bartender- dark alley? you didn't want to meet this guy in his dark bar!

I never used the bathrooms, and I never contracted hepatitis either. Coincidence?

Good times!

Good or Bad it was a dive. I was in between bands and was driving thru a nearby town and noticed a small sign on an old building saying "drummer needed" which was weird in itself. So I stopped and went inside. It was dark and dingy but as my eyes adjusted I saw it was a strip joint. I wondered why they needed a drummer and I asked the bartender about the job. He said they wanted a drummer to play to the stripping music ( like Karoke drums ?) to give it somewhat of a live sound. I told the owner,the bartender, this was a first for me but I would give it my best shot. Ha!

Well, it didn,t pay very much but I figured it would be an interesting gig as this was before paisties were worn and very little else. I was ready to go the same night and set the kit up on the same runway/stage as the girls. I played my guts out as the strippers wanted to strip to the music of the day (rock & roll) so I was good to go. Of course my kit faced the girls.

The gig was pretty good and lasted until I auditioned for my next band and got the job.

Anyway The place was a vintage dive so to speak but I put up with it very well Ha!

Tom

Ps: The girls liked my playing just fine.