Hello all, don't want to come off as a whiner, but there comes a time when you must let it out. My life has been a rollercoaster ride since October 16th, the day the love of my life was put into a assisted living facility. Now 9 months later she's still there with zero chance of returning home, her son has kicked me out of the condo I lived in for fourteen years with her. It's my own fault I suppose for not insisting that we got married. She owned the condo and gave power of attorney to her son years ago. I never saw this coming while we were together. I moved into an apartment with my daughter and grandson.
Sometimes I just feel like giving up drumming, the storage place I use to rent to rehearse is no longer excepting bands. To make matters worse, I suffered a small stroke two months ago causing me to miss a lot of work, I can still function physically like nothing happened, but mentally it's changed me. There are days when I feel normal, but there are also days when the anxiety is overwhelming.
I feel like I want to start playing again, I've been in contact with a few bands, but then I'll have what I like to call an episode, I feel like I'm going to die. That makes it difficult to pursue a band because I don't know when one of these episodes will hit. I'm a complete mess, taking antidepressants as well as Lipitor.
I had to sell most of my gear, including most of my cymbals. If it weren't for Robyn gifting me a kit a few months ago, I'd have no kit at all.
I just want to feel like myself again, where I got excited about drums and drumming. Just when I feel like I'm getting back into it, I'll slip into a deep depression.
I keep telling myself, I must keep playing.
