... how is the tom in comparison with your snare? Is it similar volume?...
I would say it's similar. Since there aren't the obnoxious harmonic peaks I hear in calf, calf heads always sound to me a bit softer than plastic. You can play the drums harder at gigs and you don't have to hold back on the volume as much, which makes it easier to get into it.
Also, when you record a kit, the mic placement is super crucial. If it the mic was pointed to the snare it will pick that up louder than a tom. As soon as you mic any kit and play it back it's now an electronic kit. And when you mic a kit the sound becomes a marriage between the kit and the mics.
It's often overlooked at how much difference the mics make. People are always talking about Ringo's sound, which probably had as much to do with the Neumanns as the Ludwigs.
So I always take the sound on YouTube with a grain of salt. It means almost nothing. People today are judging old K's from mp3's that were probably recorded with a $20 computer mic. Also, over 1/2 of a cymbal's sound is above 100KHz which you cannot hear but there is substantial info out there that we can feel it, and that's never recorded.
In 2010 we do not have the technology to accurately record and playback a cymbal. No matter how much money you have it cannot be done in 2010.