Try more stick control via Lawrence welk style ,lol it works for me

Try rods. They're in between a stick and a brush. Typically, the more people in a venue the louder you can play. Some venues just have bad acoustics.

The other thing you could try is a sound shield.

http://www.guitarcenter.com/Control-Acoustics/VDS3X3-Half-Stack-Sound-Barrier-Shield-1312645312963.gc?cntry=us&source=4WWRWXGP&gclid=CjwKCAjw-6bWBRBiEiwA_K1ZDW-R5Ve4N17dXejsjW1lXJVVxDudR6vswYiA93YuDAu1UvnLVBIc4RoCR5QQAvD_BwE&kwid=productads-adid^57619015002-device^c-plaid^143156773242-sku^1312645312963@ADL4GC-adType^PLA

Thanks guys- but I've been playing for over 50 years! I've tried brushes, rods, whips, splashsticks and rutes!- been behind a 'fishbowl' touring once and it won't be feasible at this time..... so.... My question was about cutting off sticks to shorten them/ thus seeing if the 'throw' would allow accenting and finesse or just 'stifle' the volume. If anybody has experience in that or wants to try it also I am interested. Thanks for answers as all is appreciated...

I used to use felt strips on my bass drum and toms to stop them from ringing and cut down the volume some. Gibralter and other companies make them now for bass drums.

You could try some of these for five bucks, or hit the fabric store:

https://www.musiciansfriend.com/accessories/gibraltar-sc-bf-felt-strips

I've also had duct tape on the inside of my heads. For me it just makes me hit the drums harder.

It seems like someone should sell heads for those of us with this affliction, but I don't know of any

What kind of music are you guys playing and how small are these venues? Is the whole band playing low volume? Are you a heavy hitter? When I need to play quieter, I tend to use the traditional grip and just use a lighter touch on the drums. I would never cut my sticks down, I need that balance that only a certain stick gives me, which happens to be Vater 5A's. I'd like to see a video of you guys, maybe to the audience you're not playing too loud.

Have you tried these sticks: http://vicfirth.com/products/drum-sticks/american-custom/sd5-echo/

They are much quieter than rods etc, quite amazing really. FWIW, I don't find rods all that quiet, actually. They come out almost as loud as sticks on recordings I've made.

Also, try very small and light drums, with single ply heads, like a 16, 12, 14 kit, and small and light cymbals - or a flat ride. I play a lot of jazz in small venues, and mainly use the 16, 10, 13 nesting kit in the attached picture.

/Magnus

Chinese Chopsticks, the large one`s, you wont hear the drums much.

Seriously though, I think the issue is them.

Thanks guys- here is a (crappy distorted cell phone) video - [ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHF_L9rozJI"]Two tickets to Paradise cover band by the off the cuff - YouTube[/ame] The vocals are maxing the phone out but you can hear instruments- I agree OddBall- but wanted to see if there is anything I could do/ we played a quieter wedding and that was when the bass player had fits over my volume... the sticks have been hard to get used to- NO fulcrum so it is all wrist- they DO quiet it a lot but at the loss of finesse/ as I thought.... Yes I hit heavy at times but have notched it down for these guys (classic rock and blues)- I jam with some OTHER guys this weekend so will play THIS volume and see what THEY (hard rock) think when I am a little quieter! I TRY to get along with each configuration but this seems like the bass player's dislike of snare drums.... although I'm old I can learn new things- I will try different sticks but the cut-downs seem to be too much of a compromise so far... thanks again and I'll accept any more suggestions- ...(when we played the wedding I was HALF as loud as this video)- but mostly it is small bars like this- maybe 150 people

The above mix seems fine to me. Nice playing. I always ask the servers/bartenders if it's too loud. Maybe the bass player needs to use some ear plugs.