In the early 1700s Professor Z was banned from the small Swedish village of Hönshyttemohed for his controversial work involving bone marrow transfusions, an early form of genetic manipulation. The professor extracted bone marrow from just about any creature, including humans, he came across. This bone marrow cocktail was then injected into various mollusks, creating new mutated and cross-geneticized mollusk species. Today some of these mollusks have evolved through hundreds of generations and now resemble amphibian hatchback-sized conchs. These giant conchs drink radio-active waste and spent motor-oil while urinating pure H2O. They eat Plutonium and Uranium Waste and poo pure and clean soil. They inhale concentrated smog and exhale pure oxygen. What happens to all those pollutants? They shed it off as this fascinating new Mother-of-Pearl known as Professor Z’s Abalone.
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